On the toss of a coin
by hellsbells101
Summary: Fate is a fickle thing, just like the toss of a coin. There were so many potential paths for Merlin to take. His King was asking him about magic and he was stuck! What if he makes a different choice can Arthur's fickle fate be avoided. Does someone have to die for Arthur to survive, Find out. Spoiler's for 5x05 staring the Disir
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nada; the characters and rights belong to the bbc. I merely borrow them for your entertainment.

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Merlin was torn and quite frankly - heartbroken. He saw no easy path, all he wanted to do was protect Arthur. He had so many choices before him and none of them easy. Should he let Mordred die? He was a good man from what he'd seen, but magic told him that he was Arthur's bane. Could he tell Arthur that magic shouldn't exist in Camelot and deny his very existence? Or was now the right time to tell Arthur the truth about magic?

It would be so easy to tell Arthur the truth. His eyes were tearing as all of these thought were awash in his mind. He tried to look straight into the fire - to help clear his mind. It didn't. If anything it mocked him because it helped make Arthur's voice that bit clearer. He felt one stray tear fall down his cheek.

Arthur was still thinking aloud, "In my time I only have to look at the evil Morgana has caused."

Merlin made a decision, for the sake of his lord. He would deny himself, it would kill a little bit of him but it would keep Arthur safe. It was a small price to pay. He meant to utter the words, "There can be no place for magic in Camelot."

It was honestly what he was going to say, he'd weighed up the pros and cons and this was the result. All signs led to Mordred needing to die. Yet he couldn't say it, it was wrong and he needed to say something. He didn't think that there ever would be a better time than now for this to be said.

"You're wrong you know. Magic is not evil. It is a tool." Merlin said sounding so old. Far older than he actually was it was as if all the secrets he'd kept; they were starting to crush in on him all at the same time.

Arthur froze, he'd seen bouts of great wisdom but this was so unlike Merlin. He was so sure of himself. Arthur frowned, seeing his servant clearly warring with himself - to the point he was crying. It was rare for Merlin to cry. In fact the last time had been when he'd killed the Great Dragon.

"How can you be so sure?" Arthur asked, surprised that he had asked rationally rather than with anger. It showed that he was growing at least he hoped he was. he could admit that the idea of being judged had unsettled him rather a lot.

Merlin couldn't look directly at Arthur not yet, if he was to unburden himself he looked at the fire, "I am magic Arthur ... Yes, Morgana has tried to kill you with magic but I have saved you using the same tools."

Arthur understood, Merlin had disappeared in the action with Odin but appeared when needed. He stuttered in disbelief, "You created the tremor."

Merlin looked a little rueful, "Morgana actually fears my druid name and the hunt for me has kept her mostly distracted, so I was low on options."

Arthur was overloaded, there was too much to process. He was sure that he'd be angry but he instinctively knew that wasn't the case with Merlin. If Merlin was a sorcerer, which he had freely admitted then he couldn't be evil. After all, Merlin had had numerous chances to kill him and hadn't.

He chuckled thinking of several things that finally added up. How Merlin had survived the Dorocha, as no mortal could survive their attack. And wasn't that a sobering thought for the young king. He would never doubt Merlin's loyalty - it would be stupid he'd demonstrated it time after time, but if he wasn't mortal then he was immortal. If that were true and it was the only logical solution then what had he done to deserve such loyalty.

Arthur had to ask, he looked Merlin's chin up so he could look into his eyes. "What have I ever done to earn a sorcerers protection?"

Merlin laughed but it came out choked, "You have a destiny as the once and future king. You are meant to restore magic to the land of Albion... Oh I'm not a sorcerer, I'm a warlock."

Arthur frowned, "What is the difference?"

"I was born with magic - I didn't choose to study it; it was never a choice for me sire." Merlin let it all out in one breath - relief settling for finally having told the truth whatever the consequence.

Arthur was amazed, "So when earlier you said that you could feel the land you meant it literally."

Merlin nodded and then he could have smacked his head. He was being the very idiot that Arthur accused him of being. Yes he was to protect the King, but what real right did Merlin have to decide Arthur's fate. Granted their fate was entwined but it should be faced together.

"Arthur you need to know something and I'll be honest I'm not sure what advice to give." Merlin was unsure and maybe together they could find a path that they could both live with. The old adage rang true in that moment; a problem shared is a problem halved.

"There is a problem Arthur, In one future, the magic's foresee Mordred as your doom. My hearts says save the young lad, but my head is telling me that he must die to protect you."

Arthur was confused, he had much to ruminate on what Merlin had said. He had so many questions, and Merlin was definitely going to be answering them now for him.

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By morning the friends were agreed, they couldn't in good conscience condemn a man for what might be. They walked into the cave, Arthur once again mindful of Merlin's advice unsheathing his sword walked into the cave.

The Disir stood there still so proud, they really did set Merlin's teeth on edge, and he owed them one for the spear. He did like the look of shock on the one Disir's face when he'd stopped the spear. It was obviously one thing that she hadn't seen.

The Disir hissed, "You want to save the boy even after Emrys has told you that he could be your doom?"

Arthur let Merlin answer for him; after all, if he was to become his counsellor then he would need the practice. Merlin was also less likely to put a foot wrong when it comes to eminent magic beings. "We both do not feel right passing judgement on a boy for what might be."

The Disir would not get their judgement today the Goddess was proven wrong. Oh that fate had not disappeared but there was now a chance. Thank the goddess that the young warlock had found his tongue. This was as much a test for Merlin as it was for him.

"The Goddess has passed judgement and returned to Camelot."

The pair returned to Camelot, and for once they travelled on in silence. It was necessary to assimilate all of the things that they had learned, and there had been so many. At the ridge to Camelot though broke the silence, "We will make it right Merlin, but you know if my bitch of a sister returns..."

"Yes Sire."

"Feel free to fry her Merlin. Nothing of my sister remains." He finished.

"Oh it will be my happy duty. I owe her one anyway." Merlin said grinning, ruefully scratching his head.

It was a stark reminder of how much Merlin's loyalty had cost him. Arthur doubted he'd gotten the full picture but he would. When Merlin attended him at night he'd ask as many questions as it took. It was quite sad really. Arthur had lauded loyalty and bravery and had always encouraged and celebrated it's acts. However Merlin who was perhaps the bravest of them all, had had to go by receiving no gratitude or thanks.

Merlin chuckled, "Don't worry Sire, the mere thought that I won't have to deny myself is gift enough."

He tested out the range of his telepathy, remembering how strong the gift was for Mordred. He got a sense of resounding happiness back. He heard the heartfelt, "Thank you."

Merlin knew that there would be a heart-warming return for both of them. However even though they weren't in the castle yet he couldn't wait to tell Mordred. he out of nearly all of them deserved to hear the news. "I told you that it wouldn't always be the way."

He could hear the shock and the hope filter through Mordred's voice. "What did you do Emrys?"

Merlin chuckled and felt that he reserved the right to be mysterious, "I'll tell you soon enough. You should go and be appropriately grateful when we return."

Mordred was grateful, and his return to health was celebrated with a tournament, which was great really. Apart from the small fact that Arthur had decreed that all of his mail was to be cleaned by hand - no magic. It was Arthur's big punishment, for keeping all his secrets. In the next week he was going to be overloaded with chores, the more menial the better. Merlin had sworn his life and magic into Arthur's service, so unless it was a life and death situation Merlin would not use his magic.

The scream of frustration from Morgana was projected for miles and heard by both Merlin and Mordred. The curse that followed even if biologically impossible even with magic was particularly creative. The two young men with magic shared a look and started laughing. It was almost certain that Morgana would cause trouble, but that was tomorrow's problem.

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**Authors note:** Okay so it is literally an hour and half since the programme aired and this was the result. I loved the programme but was I the only one who was screaming at the TV for him to say something?

So this is a one-shot for now but given the teasers for next week with Morgana it has the potential for a second chapter Let me know what you think!


	2. Raising the Stakes

Authors Note: First of all thank you to all those who reviewed - This chapter is for you! Sorry it took a week but RL can suck and interfere with writing!

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Merlin had known that Morgana would strike soon. She may be insane but she was a little predictable when it came to her thirst for revenge. The only real problem with her insanity was, sadly it made it hard to predict what action she would take in order to gain her revenge. It was a small thing but when it came to magic it made a huge difference.

The strike back occurred against not Arthur himself. It was smart as he was too well protected, Morgana did know a Sorcerer protected Arthur but she was reluctant to believe that it was a servant. It was one of the rare times that Merlin thanked Uther Pendragon. There had been more than one occasion that Merlin had cursed the old Kings name. However Merlin couldn't deny how useful it was to be dismissed as nothing but a simple fool.

The knights returned but no Gwen and then Merlin saw the intention of Morgana - strike at the nearest and dearest. It was Arthur's biggest weakness. He'd suffered so many tragedies and betrayals that he'd pulled the closest people even closer. Upon hearing the news, and Gaius informing the gathered Knights that dark magic was at work. Arthur surprised the gathered Knights.

"Merlin can you heal them?"

The Knights collectively sucked in a breath but Gawaine looked proud. "Yes Sire."

"Then do so, we need them whole so we can track down my bitch of a sister."

Merlin nodded and traded a look with Gaius. It was one of the clearest signs that Arthur's attitude towards magic was definitely changing. The one knight who looked uneasy was cowed by Gawaine of all people, "Don't be stupid man. Magic is a weapon just like we use - For good, or bad like those we fight."

The Knight had the grace to look sheepish and Elyan smiled, "I know we're all surprised that Gawaine can have a serious thought."

Percival positively vaulted off the bed, the moment that the chanting stopped. "Morgana."

Arthur sighed, "We know she is next on our list."

The knights set off on the trail, Mordred was added to the list thanks to Merlin. The surprise on Arthur's face at Merlins apparent turn about the young knight all but assured his place. Merlin didn't have the heart to tell him it because he felt that the more Sorcerers the better. He felt that with Morgana having kidnapped Gwen - Arthur should deal with one shock at a time.

The forest was annoying but another benefit of having revealed his magic was that when he suggested things - contrary to common belief. People mocked him a lot less, even so he didn't mention his meeting with the Queen of the Fairies. Merlin would dearly love to tell Morgana that she had competition for title of 'most twisted magic person' with the tiny royal. However Merlin was of the opinion that Mab would likely win despite her small stature.

Merlin did sigh, he was weighing up the anger of Arthur against calling for Killgarrah. After all his old friend would be able to flame a path right to the dark tower. Merlin and Mordred both had sneers at the feeling of the Dark Tower. The arid wasteland before them would be perilous for the knights that much was clear. The telling thing was that this was trying for Mordred as well. Merlin had been trying to avoid big flashy shows of magic for two reasons - One the Knights were not yet accustomed to magic an two he didn't want Morgana aware. Then he chuckled silently remembering that Morgana had locked herself in the Dark Tower. It was a great Fortress to hold but it was thought to block magic - Well he was about to test that theory. When he stumbled and nearly found himself impaled on an old warriors sword - his decision was made.

He gave a look to his King and Arthur understood what he was asking as he gave a nod. Merlin stood stock still and raised his hands - chanting as they rose. Most of the Knights including Mordred raised an eyebrow, but only Mordred understood the sheer impressive level of magic occurring. He quirked an eyebrow, it took quite a feat to command the Earth to move to his bidding. They both knew that the Earth would be easier than Morgana.

Another advantage to having Mordred with them was that he had someone else whose opinion was listened to and stopped Arthur from believing that he enjoyed being a harbinger of doom. The stone room was clever of Morganna he'd give the little _witch_ that much. He didn't much care about much apart from finding Gwen. The stone room would have been positively perilous had his magic not been known. Instead he could summon a shield that would allow the knights to move across the room as one. It was a good thing too as he felt that Elyan would have stormed ahead.

They continued to move up through the Tower and Merlin's sense of dread grew. He never liked when the path was this easy it usually meant that something far nastier was coming up. The knights froze when they found the Queen. She was so small against the wall with an enchanted sword between them. She called out, "Don't Morgana has enchanted it to protect me."

Elyan was ready to jump in, guilt and the desire to protect but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He was surprised to see that it was Mordred, "Let me deal with this!"

Arthur froze, "Mordred it is enchanted."

Mordred smiled and he looked almost fey in his beauty and his smile held all the mischief of the imps, "I know Sire that is why it should be me ... I can fight on a level playing field." Arthur sighed, still if Merlin could be a good sorcerer than there must be more. Still he had to question the sanity of two such powerful sorcerers being at the very heart of Camelot.

Merlin chuckled breaking the shock, "I'm glad I won't have to do all the heavy lifting. I'll go and deal with Morgana."

Mordred nodded and gave him a gentle reminder, "Yes well, go quickly Emrys."

Gwen startled upon hearing that honorific used. That was a name that her only friend had used more than once since they'd come to the tower. Morgana knew that the one called Emrys was to be her bane and probably her ending. Her heart was in her mouth; she only hoped that her friend prevailed. Trouble was that the friend was not Merlin.

In the tower Arthur would have definitely gotten a kick out of the conversation. Merlin had slammed the door open and already knew that Gwen had been poisoned with Mandrake roots so would be unstable until they could purge her system of the root.

Morgana sneered, "You, you've spurned my plans one too many plans."

Sure enough Aithusa came out of the murky shadows. Merlin did not react with the expected fear - he laughed. After all it was stupid. Why would he fear a Dragon?

She cocked her head to the side, her once beautiful features now showing the clear glint of insanity. "I know you're simple Merlin but a Dragon can harm you."

Merlin managed to stop laughing, "You're absolutely right ... most people would fear a Dragon but I'll take your baby dragon and raise you."

The invocation rang true and clear throughout the lands. He figured that given his old friends dislike of the insane sorcerer; it was only fair that he be allowed to add his thoughts.

She looked in shock, "But you're kind were killed."

Merlin smirked, "Yes your father tried so very hard to wipe us all out nearly managed but Balinor my father survived."

Morgana was shocked but so very arrogant. She decided that if he was a Dragonlord well her own magic would serve her well.

The spell she sent was positively vicious and Merlin batted it away with a swipe of his hand. He cocked an eyebrow in cool amusement. "You know Nimueh was the one to use that spell against me."

Morgana hissed wondering who exactly Merlin was, "Who are you?"

Merlin smiled but it held none of the famed warmth. It was cold and dark, "Camelot knows me as Merlin but the druids prefer Emrys."

Morgana actually paled - it was impressive as she was already so pale. She didn't stick around to find out what would happen she called on some heavy duty magic to get her out of dodge. It was going to be fun when they finally caught up with each other.

That was then for now he had to ask the Dragon politely to take him and Gwen back to Camelot quicker than the rest. Oh, while convincing that the Great Dragon that some of them could still remember was no longer an actual threat and despite what recent history suggested - didn't want to crisp Camelot to the ground.

You know what? There were times that Merlin wished he was the simple servant he pretended to be. His life would be so much easier and nicer if it was. Too bad that they knew the truth.


End file.
